Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
