Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
