theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just got carded by a ten year old.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
