I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize