i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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