Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
