Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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