You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
