So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
