can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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