So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
