I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
