is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she pinky promised me she was 18
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
