Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
