You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We left the knife in your bed.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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