lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
