i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
