I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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