Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I currently don't understand fingers.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
