So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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