I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
