you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
