Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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