i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
