Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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