even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
