There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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