we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
