If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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