I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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