Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
