god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
you had me at cake vodka
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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