Your face is a jimmy john
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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