That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
how drunk are you?
Several
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
