Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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