his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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