So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
