whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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