my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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