At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
