Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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