video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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