Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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