ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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