New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
