Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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