I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
