Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
