i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There's always time for handjobs
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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