things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
