Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
