My room smells like vodka and shame
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We just shotgunned beers for America
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
